Siddartha - Time (Note to Stranger)

How many times did I blow you off?
Priorities in wack
Just so I could go and hang out with some friends
How many times was I angry at you
For the way you acted
When I didn't even fucking understand
How many times did you tell me that
Family is the only thing
That ever really matters in the end?
For how much time did you hold it in?
How many lines and chorus's?
Did I hear you spit?
As I watched your pen
Freestyle for hours
As I'd listen in
We would just sit back
You would kick back tracks
And you wanted to direct
That's when I wanted to act
You started to dance
And then I wanted to dance
And when you rapped
It was a wrap
So I get it man I fucked up
I really did
But do you know how fucked up this really is?
When I look back at what's really here in front of me
If you're hearing this
I'm done with all the subtleties
At what point did you give up on your dreams?
For you to tell me music's evil
Everyday that shit'll fuck with me
Did you think that if you put a knife to your flesh
While I'm sleeping and you're bleeding out
That somehow it would comfort me?
You didn't even scream
Not one fucking peep
You didn't make a sound
And what does that mean to me?
You couldn't trust me
This shit is ugly
I found out two days later from dad
That you didn't wanna bug me so I'd focus on my studies
Man fuck that shit
I took your bloody shirt to prom with me
Terrified I took it to the lake
And then I dumped that shit
Praying maybe you would talk to me
See you were in the hospital
Thought that you were safe
I didn't visit once
I was afraid to see your face
Depression hit you hard
I thought that you might need your space
That you wouldn't let your
Younger brother see you in that state
Excuses excuses
How many can I make when I want to?
If only I had known they wouldn't watch you
3 hours left alone
You made your gown into a rope
And then you climbed into a chair
I should have called you
How were you holding in the things that you felt?
How long were you there screaming silently for help
I was on my way back from a cottage
On the same died you died
And this life became a living hell
Cause I could have spent that time with him
Could have shared my mind with him
It could have been the grind with him
I should have spit my rhymes to him
Now I'll never get that time again
Yeah
Yeah
Cause I could have spent that time with him
Could have shared my mind with him
It could have been the grind with him
I should have spit my rhymes to him
Now I'll never get that time again
(Calling your name)
(Calling your name)
It's hard not to remember the days
Every moment you had left me amazed
Now I'm left in this maze
As I'm holding mom tightly
Searching for the words
But I got nothing to say
Except I'm sorry
I'm sorry
That I left you alone
Fuck it
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
That you ain't coming home
Crazy and so spontaneous
Pushing when it got strenuous
Everything is possible
You would always go say that shit
Like your words ain't worry free
Like there wasn't pain in it
Took me to the gym
And taught me how to lift the weights in them
So much shit you did for me
Look at what I'll make from it
I just wish you saw the world
And knew you had a place in it
Maybe then
I wouldn't have to be the one to say that shit
Maybe then
I wonder would you stay if you woulda known?
Mom got Osteoporosis in her bones
And she can barely walk
The place she living in is shit
And I resent you
Cause I don't know how to handle this alone
I wonder would you stay if you woulda known?
How much pain you caused to your little bro
I remember you were sad
That you lost all of the lyrics that you wrote
But your rap book was here at home
Found it a week after you died
Man I really tripped
That's when I found out irony's a fucking bitch
So I picked up your pen
And I wrote this tape
To make sure that your memory forever lives
Cause I could have spent that time with him
Could have shared my mind with him
It could have been the grind with him
I should have spit my rhymes to him
Now I'll never get that time again
Yeah
Cause I could have spent that time with him
Could have shared my mind with him
It could have been the grind with him
I should have spit my rhymes to him
Now I'll never get that time again
(Calling your name)
(Calling your name)

Written by:
Gautam Tiwari

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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