Thesanity - Find You

Yeah
I've been trying to find You in the darkness
Heart's there but I'm feeling so heartless
No coat in the rain, trying to cope with the pain
I'm carrying the stains I can part with
I've been trying to find you in the darkness
Heart's there but feeling cold regardless
I've been stuck in a cave, all night, everyday
I'm burying the weight of the hardships
In the past I'd be standing on the top of my car
Trying to extend enough to feel like I be one with the stars
Yeah, trying to imagine life where I had reached my goals
But nowadays when I sit on my car
I pray to God that when I reach I ain't be reaching for scars, no
I pray to God that I won't ever sell my soul
Just to be accepted by the world
Didn't know where to go
Was failing God trying to navigate this life on my own
Was acting like I'm put together when I knew I was broke
Was claiming I was doing fine when I was losing my hope
Was trying to brighten up the room, my definition of cope
To bring the smiles and laughter when you hurting the most
To help the ones around you clinging to the end of their rope
Before you tend to your own scars that never heal cause you won't
Pick yourself up off the ground, change everything that you knew
You won't stop running from your issues like you know that you do
You won't stop hiding behind lies instead of facing the truth
Cause you be scared to open doors that might not lead to your room
Then you start to assume that you ain't meant to be heard
So you stitch up your mouth so you can't mutter a word
Fixated on your mistakes you're questioning what your worth
Then you put on a disguise and trying to hide from the hurt
You try to hide from the bullets they're flying up from the dirt
So any step that you take you body's feeling the burn
And you can never escape, this moments never adjourned
Cause you weren't willing to change, you weren't willing to learn
Nah, too stubborn to change
Maybe that's why life isn't going your way
Maybe that's why waking up is part of the pain
Cause consciously you know that everyday be looking the same
I've been trying to find You in the darkness
Heart's there but I'm feeling so heartless
No coat in the rain, trying to cope with the pain
I'm carrying the stains I can part with
I've been trying to find you in the darkness
Heart's there but feeling cold regardless
I've been stuck in a cave, all night, everyday
I'm burying the weight, of the hardships
I've been trying to find the pieces of myself that I lost
Conforming with society was fun but what did it cost
Was it worth it damaging my soul to raise up my stock
And find acceptance from some people only moving in flocks
Find acceptance from some people that are strangers to me
People who would turn their back if I was handed defeat
People who enter in my life just trying to dabble and leave
People that'd stab you in your back and sit and watch as you bleed
I can't believe I let my walls crumble down so that my ego could mend
And arrogance became an enemy disguised as a friend
If felt like I had lost everything, was stuck in my head
I couldn't function, I was tracking toward a life on the edge
And then, God called and I answered it
We chatted bout my life and how I've done my best to manage it
We talked about the journey I've been on and this abandonment
Quitting on myself instead of working on repairing it
I was feeling lost, what a shock I couldn't handle it
I stopped talking to God I couldn't take on the embarrassment
I wanted perfection, was too dumb to understand that it
Isn't possible, perfection wasn't what were granted with
No, too stubborn to change
Maybe that's why life isn't going your way
Maybe that's why waking up is part of the pain
Cause consciously you know that everyday be looking the same

Written by:
Joe Dean

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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