Candler - What Am I? (Bonus Track)

What am I? What am I?
I said, what am I? What am I?
Always asking, what am I?
Seemingly I've heard the words a hundred times
I've stopped to even wonder I
Keep on having visions of the other side
Visions of another time
Living in a double life
Stuck inside
For like 8 months or 9
Or maybe 10
Lately seems I'm always asking what's the time
But what's the difference
Doesn't phase me I ain't saving much of mine
And I don't wanna speak if it ain't truth
Cause I can't stomach lies
Had too many people take me for granted
Make my trust decline
Man what is life?
What am I?
Asked at least over hundred times
Rapping leaving me with a disguise
What a drag to bleed and keep the love inside
Got a bag of dreams and like a couple rhymes
Half the evenings think I was a God
Cause if the devil's working 24/7
You bet you know I'm working 25
But it's been different lately
Cause what was once 25 hours
Is now rarely 25 minutes maybe
Wishing I could dismiss it as busy
But it just isn't frankly
Safe to say my penmanship's been missing
I ain't written lately
And in harmony
I lost my voice when I stopped writing
Cause it's hard to speak
Without reorganizing my thoughts prior
I harbor feelings
Inner demons tried to proselytize me
Hand of God would speak sign language
I could not decipher
I've been awfully quiet
So don't ask to talk about it
Too afraid to stop the silence
Every path is wrought with doubting
Living in these thoughts and lies
A nasty habit calms me down
So the more I'm lost inside
The less I grasp what's all around me
Thinking, where am I?
Heard those freaking words my fair share of times
Perpetual confusion for the future
What a scary sight
I'm terrified
Too many thoughts to carry so I buried mine
And I can barely decide
If i'm scared to live or if I'm scared to die
Thinking, when am I?
These turns been feeling hollow
Mental genocide
Just tryna purge myself of sorrow
Man this urgency is harmful
Whip the hearse like a Monte Carlo
And I ain't ever lived a day
Cause I'm stuck searching for tomorrow
Thinking, have I gone through life facing the wrong way
Blinking with a long stare
While making my song play
And even if I've lost my sight
Aiming will not change
I'm not sad
It's just today's been a long day
This mandatory pressure
Steady shaming what I made
And I can't stand to flourish lesser
Making plaintiffs that I play
Going crazy facing blame
And I've been waiting for some change
Searching for transitory pleasure
Cause I ain't patient with the pain
How I deliver the doubt
The scariest thoughts I've been having
Always enter the cloud
No care of the cost, my pen laughing
Thought I'd figured it out
Apparently not cause I'm still rapping
And I'm still asking
What am I? What am I?

Written by:
Jackson Carrington

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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