Eadwulf - When I Was

When I was broken I just leaned into the dark
Thought that it would keep me from falling apart
All of these words coming straight from the heart
I'm so cold now, cold now
Guess that's why they call this art
I was missing for a sec but now I'm back
Y'all can relax!
I've been feeling through my heart
I've been digging in the dark
We needed some more space for all the tracks that I've been burying
Along with the feelings think it's embarrassing
Perilous, I hope one day to not be quite so arrogant
I maybe shoulda listened when they told me get a therapist
Cause, some people tell me I speak in riddles, it's hilarious
Experiment on every conversation that I'm having
So that I can bring myself and others merriment
Dangerous, a hero complex strong as mine can bury us
Precarious, to be honest nefarious in various ways
Chalk it up to me being Aquarius
I don't know the answer but whatever it is, it's probably hilarious
Or maybe really sad, but we don't wanna get into that
Cause then I'd have to actually admit I was mad
And then admit to assuming how I thought you'd react
And that just isn't fair to you
So honestly I'd rather act
Like I was strong and fine
So you would never ask the question
I'd try to narrate and lead the conversations in different directions
Hypothetical, I wish it was but it isn't
I guess that means I know my traumas well, evade them with precision
It's a whole different world out here, don't see a ceiling
It's a crazy afternoon but I got a good feeling so
When I was broken I just leaned into the dark
Thought that it would keep me from falling apart
Wish I knew how wrong I was
Oh no, got a buzz and it wasn't enough
Reaching into my feelings and I can't get a response
This is what I wanted and now I'm numb
When I was broken I just leaned into the dark
Oh yeah yeah
Thought that it would keep me from falling apart
Thanks for listening, since you're still here
I'ma tell you what you're witnessing
Fine positioning, repartitioning, me inhibiting
Several frequencies to tell my thoughts, no soliciting
Ah
A cover up of every insecurity with passion
And lots of anger too because I'm sick of the distractions
I allow into my life to rip my whole plan up
Now I'm feeling I got no trust for no one and no love
Gotta find a different way to cope, they tell me
Oh no please, cause this is actually working
So don't row against me like I row
Against the current every time
Their minds blow, catch me falling out of line
When I was broken I just leaned into the dark
Thought that it would keep me from falling apart

Written by:
Zachary Eddolls

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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